heartache
Sometimes I wonder where it comes from, that unexplainable heartache that hits you in the strangest of times. Like when you’re sitting at your desk playing stupid computer games. Or when you’re at work, making a coffee for the jolly caffiene-addicted patrons. Or when you’re driving down the freeway and the tears start tickling your eyes. Or when you’re sitting in your kitchen, watching your children play in the snow.
I don’t understand what God is doing right now. He’s breaking me down. I didn’t think I could get much more broken than I already was – but I guess that’s what I get for thinking I had it all figured out. That’s what I get for thinking I’m on top of the world and that I don’t need His brokenness.
Funny. Guess He’s showing me. I’m just so tired of the heartache. I so want to be able to sing along with Over the Rhine, “What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be….” I’ve seen the beauty in some of the heartache. I’ve glimpsed a lot of the beauty that comes from the heartache that enveloped my heart these past few months. I’m sure there’s more beauty to come, I’m just not sure how much longer I have to wait. How much more heartache do I have to endure?
Jesus, my sweet Savior, please…turn this heartache into something beautiful. I know You will, for You promise that everything works out for our good if we love You. Help me to rest in that truth, knowing that you will turn this heartache into something beautiful.
